the true pain

I don't quite like my position now.

After being away from work, I realise that many things are beyond my ability. I'm not being meticulous and seems like I'm losing my curiosity on new things. I was being questioned, and unable to find an answer for the tabulation I compiled when I discuss with Jag. So embarrassing~!

On the other hand, Hy becomes fiercely & demanding more attention whenever she has the chance to be with us. She will be charmed when seeing us home, but gets cranky easily if I didn't attend to her. She was being punished to her 'thinking corner' almost every evening. One mid night of this week, she shake me up and pestering for water, then pee at 4+, then milk at 5+, then my alarm rang & she asked for pee. I had to step out of the house surreptitiously. She dozed off at 7.30am. I heard my mum said, she woke up at 8+am and see no daddy & mummy, she threw tantrum & fell back into sleep again till 12+.

Poor girl who is unwilling in this absent of mother. I don't spank her for her misbehaviour, but pretending angry and asked her to stand at her 'thinking corner'. I'm not sure I should pamper her by fulfilling her extra volume of request. Or to be firm on rejecting certain ridiculous (to us) request. My mum is trying her very best to be nice & caring, unfortunately, the fussy little one is not appreciating, and attempting to cross over the forbidden boundary.

A colleague who seems thinking of quiting job and be a full time mum was asking me whether worth staying at home with the little one or not. I said, yes for sure. The only problem is, the transition period of mine now (without telling her the detail).

I don't know how bad will this transition be. Giving up is certainly the easier way of solving the problem...

i did it!

I am so going to buy a sewing machine~!!!

Thanks to mambliss, I completed a beautiful task at the very last day of my sahm living~! It is a present for HY's coming birthday. A present to apology that mummy will not longer stay a whole day long with her everyday.

I didn't mention the reason behind it to HY. She was charmed by first look on it. That motivates me a lot... and relieved my guiltiness. I must say, I have a good teacher & therapist. I was doubt in many things about motherhood; I never do a good job on sewing, even my mum is impressed to see the hat. She knows my limit of patience and skills.

Pauline is my hero~!

Looking the hat on HY and my mum who just arrived. I started to have wild dream. I decided to learn more about sewing, in slower pace (since i no longer SAHM). 

Please witness & remind me if i don't.

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Before that, mamabliss, when is your next lesson ^.*?