Sisterhood (II)

As little Bomber is growing up and learning more, the sisters have more fights and argument each days. The little ones just know when and how to start a fire with the big sister, even with very limited verbal skills. Well, I do understand that sibling rivalry is pretty normal in a family with more than a child. (It was one small reason why I took so long to consider for second child. I was not very nice to my siblings.) 

Anyway, I learn that it is pretty much on parents to mend the relationship, like how we deal with it in fair manner. Now, this is what happen most in my household these days: Little Bomber raises her hand with a tool, in tears, chases after jiejie and aims for a target to hit! Poor jiejie shouts for "HELP!" and run for her life. The best thing I can settle it, amidst the boiling porridge on the stove and running water in the sink, rescue the big sister from the angry meimei by holding the sisters with my two hands separately. Both crying for different reasons: horrified vs madness, but mama usually will just "Whew~!!!" and blah, blah, blah.

So these days, i see my role more like a pivot for a see-saw, trying to stable both girls' need and attention; trying to firm when crying becomes a (wonderful) weapon for anyone of them (girls, they just love to cry!). SC and I laugh at it sometimes, taking it easy, so called. Other time, we try to treat them equal love and respect. Often we work on positive reinforcement (my hope my girls don't read us nagging).

I do see them lovey dovey to each other. In my case, jiejie is willing to listen and doing her best to avoid a fight. Meimei is the one who can't help her self but to hit if said, jiejie does not give in to her. Actually jiejie thinks that meimei is too young to know her right so always take the best of toys or food. But in actual fact meimei knows her ground very well, often, she tries to tell all of us that, "don't think I'm too young to get bully hor!"

We need to learn how not to make meimei an "aggressor" and jiejie a "victim".

I try to see the good side of them. Such as, how the little one admire the jiejie in many capabilities and skills that she wishes to acquire, how the elder girl willingly offer her precious chocolate to the little sister just to comfort her from a meltdown. 

I think they are doing much better than my sister and I when we were as young as their age.

I know this is a long journey to be a good pivot for them. I need to learn how not to be referee for resolving their conflicts.

We were in MacRitchie Reservoir last... 2 months ago! 

So, yes, we are working on sibling rivalry, emphasizing about loving each other as sisters. Thankfully, they are so good sometime that, I wish the moment is frozen!


Such as this one moment here: they never let go on each other's hand when climbing up the slope.